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This is more of a self evaluation and a way to process everything going through my head than an actual post meant to share something. Almost like a letter to myself or something I guess. For some reason it seems like a better alternative to just talking to myself using a .txt document. Feel free to ignore.

It's been two weeks since I opened my release valve wide open and began my recovery from the 2011 fall semester and the last week in particular. Since then, I dove headfirst into comic books,video games, and movies. It's been a great escape and certainly needed to give my brain the time it needed to rejuvenate. But you've gotta come up for air sometime, and ignorance isn't bliss. The city of Rapture isn't the most hospitable place either. The world keeps turning and time keeps ticking. In order to reconnect myself with the real world again, I watched the New Hampshire GOP debate last night. In the last couple of days, finally started looking at candidates more seriously and researching them (actually still researching now as I type this). I've also been made aware of the popularity of Ron Paul, particularly among young people and a lot of my friends, those in facebook land anyway. The more I learn about him, the worse he gets. So much so if I ranked the GOP candidates, he would receive last. Santorum I support the most so far, although he has voted to raise the debt ceiling. Perry has a great record in Texas, with his views on amnesty being my biggest problem so far. Gingrich can be brilliant and especially excels in foreign policy and debates, but also causes concern due to some of his past choices. Romney comes across almost too polished in his debates. His Romney Care he implemented in Massachusetts was actually more or less the blueprint for Obama Care. Paul places fifth due to... well everything except for his financial views really. But his foreign policy is ridiculous and comes across as naive, and the fact that he actually blames America for 9/11 is... sickening.

There's always something wrong in life, it seems. Always something. It's never perfect. Well last night I found out my girlfriend is a big Ron Paul supporter. Surprised? Yeah sure. Not really what I expected, especially after 2 and a half years. But I guess new issues pop up when you go from minor to major and acquire the right to vote. I guess it should have been expected, and rarely do two people see eye to eye on everything. But that big of a difference? Well it's given me a lot to think about, that's for sure. When I learn someone's political views and where they stand, it paints a certain picture of them in my mind. I just have a certain feeling around them after that, whether good or bad. My beliefs in politics is something that has never changed about me, that and my eye color. It's always been consistent. But it's not like I'm incapable of being friends with anyone who thinks differently. But there's a difference between a friend, on facebook or otherwise, and the girl you're dating and potentially going to spend the rest of your life with. I also finally found a friend who does not support Paul. But I was quickly told he's close minded. Doesn't this mean, at least indirectly, that I'm also close minded? I can only assume so. Of course being 500 miles away from home doesn't help anything either...

Lately I've been trying to be more optimistic. It's certainly not something that comes very easy for me, though. Especially with politics and life in general, more often than not, it feels overwhelming. However, I recently ran into Revelations 21, and it has become a source of comfort for me. Five and six in particular stuck out.

-Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” He said to me: “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life. Those who are victorious will inherit all this, and I will be their God and they will be my children.-

What really struck me about this passage was the well-known fact that one day the world will end and everything here will be gone. The majority of what goes on here will be essentially meaningless. It's not that it isn't important, but so much that is important here on earth will have no real impact in eternity. Much like the opening of Ecclesiastes. Still, it's really helped me put some difficult problems into a more manageable perspective. Why so serious? It's too easy to blow things way out of proportion and turn a molehill into a mountain. The older I get, the more I realize how important all those object lessons in Sunday School about putting God first really is in life. It's simple always holds true. If God is first, then any other issue is secondary right? I don't agree with libertarians. But could I live with one? Could I maintain a sincere, intimate relationship with one in spite of obvious differences? My instinctive answer is an adamant "No," because of the difference in world views and beliefs. But maybe it's not a very optimistic look at the situation. Maybe it just needs a different perspective? For starters, a libertarian is better than a liberal. I also think it is better to vote, regardless of the candidate of choice, than to be apathetic and not bother to vote at all. The fact that there hasn't been an issue already after a couple years brings into question how important it really is. And if personal history is brought into consideration, reexamining your beliefs never hurts. However, if someone like Mary Matalin can somehow be with a guy like James Carville, I suppose pretty much anything's possible, right? Or maybe I really have no idea what I'm talking about... I'm not too sure right now. The only course to take seems to be simply be that I'll have to wait and see and... stay positive. After all, nothing's perfect. Anything worth having requires work.